Could you be loved?

I guess I'm still to young to really understand what the word "love" means. Or perhaps I'm trying to understand what it means, but it really doesn't mean anything beyond just the word that it is. Maybe its a word like death where you hear it and you have a good visualization of what it is but never really experience it, because I mean you can't experience death, you just die. But I wonder what it is that makes people love each other, like what goes through one persons mind. Is it really because they love that person? Or is it because both people are at a point in their lives where they just want to settle down and they are just very compatible with each other? I've had two longer relationships for my age, one for 9 months and another that is currently at 17 months. I have told both of these girls that I love them, but I know I couldn't marry either because I just would not be able to put up with them all the time. But, maybe its just because I'm not ready for that stage in my life yet. At some points I guess I do feel like I am just playing the role of being in love and I would designate those moments of when I don't really want to be with my girlfriend but I know I don't want to lose her. For example, when shes angry at me or whatever I pretend to be compassionate and promise to make things better, but sometimes she is angry at me for things that I feel are ridiculous. Or she'll demand that I change or we won't work out. Of course I say I will, but maybe I don't want to at all I am just pretending I am going to. There are other times though where I feel like when I'm with a certain someone I don't need anyone else in the world. But then there are the other times that I am more so role playing a perfect boyfriend just so I can have those previously mentioned moments again, or so that I have someone to hang out with when there is nothing else to do. There are also other things involved in role playing a boyfriend, for example, overreacting and being overprotective at times. Like, sometimes I have to make a huge scene when she does something I don't totally agree with just so she gets the point that I don't like it. In reality sometimes I could really careless, but I do it anyway to get my point across. Or if some guy I don't like talks to her or something, of course I have to be intimidating toward him just so reassure that nobody is trying to step in. I guess that kind of sounds like an animal that protects their territory. Anyway, from my experiences I think love is a lot of role playing and I'm not sure if "love" is something that really exists and can be felt or if it is just an idea and ideal that people aim for. It could be easily confused with settling down and being comfortable and I guess in a pair it makes life a lot easier to manage and to achieve goals perhaps. It's probably just finding someone that just continues to intrigue you and make you happy and is compatible at the same time, I wouldn't really know though.

Don Quijote played by Alonso Quijano

I have chosen to write about the topic regarding whether Don Quijote is mad or just an act. For a while now I have had the view point that Don Quijote is just a character being played by Alonso Quijano, which was prevalent in my second paper. Today's reading gave me a huge insight and argument for why Don Quijote is a character played by a man. So I will be arguing on the side that Don Quijote argument with the puppet show incident and Don Quijote reimbursing Maestro Pedro for breaking his puppets. If Don Quijote were truly mad he would have never paid the puppet master for what he had done. To me this definitely shows that there is a man playing a character. I can come up with many arguments for why he is merely a character, but I will have to think more so into why he may be mad. Perhaps I could state specific events and argue the mad side and the character side. I mean I can see how some people see him as mad, even though I personally see it as acting. So I figure either I debate both sides over particular events or I try to demonstrate moments where he seems more so crazy than acting and vice-versa. I don't know exactly what I'll do, but I do know for sure that I'm a believer that Don Quijote is played by Alonso Quijano and not a complete madman.

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